Tuesday, October 1, 2013

living life in limbo

my app't. last week didnt go well. my uterine lining only measured at 7mm and the coveted triple stripe was no where to be seen. i had increased my dose of l-arginine and added pom juice as well. so much for the thickening effects and stress reduction of fertility yoga.

so after sitting on pins and needles all day long, the clinic called and said the re wasn't opposed to doing a transfer. finally a sliver of hope! i spoke with my im and let her know and she was waiting until the next morning to speak to the clinic herself.

i don't know exactly what was said, but the re gave a 30% chance of the transfer being successful with a 7mm lining (oddly enough he quoted an 80% success rate if the lining reached 8mm). i put myself in my ip's shoes and i knew what they would do. time is of the essence for them. money is dwindling.

they backed out.

i was left heartbroken and wondering why the meds. hadn't worked.

and now i am downright pissed off.

my head has literally been throbbing for 3 solid days! i've taken migraine pills, pain pills, motrin, extra water, chiropractic adjustment and nothing has helped. my best guess is that the estrogen level is dropping dramatically and leaving me to feel like i got hit by a train and aunt flo has been on the verge of visiting every day for the past week! i feel like the clinic just dropped me like yeserday's trash when they should have weaned me off the estrogen! yesterday when a coworked asked me how everything was going and i nearly burst out into tears (and i would have had i not been at work).

i don't blame my ip's decision to move forward without me. i understand completely. it just leaves me in a state of limbo. what do i do next? there are things going on at home that leave me in limbo as well. limbo is not a comfortable place to live, but neither is headacheville.