Sunday, October 7, 2012

an executive decision has been made

so after that last post i really had to sit and think, and talk it over with a few people, and pray about what my next steps were going to be. my life breaks down something like this ... i'm gonna be 33 on sat and i really, Really, REALLY wanna get married and pop out some kiddo's with my boy. our future lives are basically on hold with this whole surrogacy thingy. don't get me wrong, he's 100% supportive, but there is always a chance that being a surrogate can take my fertility. how guilty would i feel if i pushed to do this and i ended up needing a surrogate? and how the hell would i pay for one? so many racing thoughts. truth be told, i feel like i haven't come full circle as a surrogate because of being kicked out of my first ip's life and the miscarriage with the twins. but at the end of the day when i sit down and reason it all out, my boy completes my circle and my life has to go on. so it is with a bit of a sad heart and a great big smile on my face, my daughter and i take a leap of faith and move in with my soon-to-be-fiance/hubby/person i get to annoy till the end of time and we start our journey. i still love reading all of your blogs and may be posting when the fancy strikes me. and who knows in a few years when i have my 3 angels maybe surrogacy will be my path again. thank you all for supporting me on this crazy journey!

4 comments:

SurroMomma said...

Good for you for making the decision that is best for YOU! That is is really important. Don't be a stranger! Blog when you feel the need! ;)

Melissa said...

Good luck with everything! That's a tough choice to make but I agree it's in the best interest for you and your loved ones.

Surrogate, Single Parent and Dating... said...

I'm right there with you. I'm waiting to get engaged and we want kids of our own, so I'm done with my one and only journey. I, too, am 33 and have my daughter who is 5. We are both happy and in love with my man!! Sounds like we are on the same paths!!! Good luck to you!

one faux mommy said...

thanks for the kind words girls!