Thursday, July 19, 2012

the waaaaaiting is the hardest part ...

so much of surrogacy is hurry up and wait! then when all the pieces finally fall into place, it's like a rollercoaster ride. there are still some twists and turns (medication changes, scheduling all those appointments to fit in with your normal day to day stuff) and your tummy most definitely does some crazy somersaults when your transfer is approaching and your on your 2ww.

so what happens in the downtime? well you wait. and you wait. and you wait some more. which is where i am today. waiting. some days patiently and most days not. see i have a deadline. now i'm going to be 33 this year. a nice odd number to most, but to me i see myself heading into the darkness of infertility. now i didn't have any problem getting pregnant with baby boo, baby sesame, or baby cherries. it's just drilled into a ladies head that after 35 your fertility goes down the shitter. now if you would have asked me 5 years, 3 years, or even 13 months ago if i ever planned on having more children, the answer would have been a very large HELL NO!!! i even had my tubal ligation papers sign, sealed, and in the hands of the nursing staff at kaiser. i was npo (nothing by mouth) twice anticipating the surgery ending my fertility willingly. hence why surrogacy so appealed to me. be pregnant (love it), give birth (love it more), and give that baby to her parents (the best part)!!! no 3am feedings. no having to give up vegas trips with the girls. no babydaddy to fight with. well enter mr. b. he swept me off my feet while i wasn't looking and now i cannot wait to have his babies! did you see that - b.a.b.i.e.s.!!! as in more than 1! to those of you who know me in real life this is a HUGE step for me. and of course i wanna marry the boy before i pop his kiddos out. so back to my deadline. 33 years old. i really feel like i want to do 1 more surrogacy. maybe because how badly baby sesame's ended. maybe because the baby cherries m/c broke my heart. to me i haven't fully completed the "surrogacy circle." so i need to be pregnant by december 31, 2012 because after that i want to get married and have my own 2 sweet babes (girls btw if you're reading this mr. b).

turns out patiently waiting has (finally) gotten me somewhere! i am driving up to irvine to meet with a potential im at her ivf clinic on wednesday. i'm a little nervous that we won't be a match as my deadline looms in the not-so-distant future, but most importantly i am putting this meeting into bigger hands. so wish me luck and good juju and *fingers crossed* this will be a match. :)

1 comment:

Venus of the Kitchen said...

How exciting! I hope she is the IM of your dreams (and the feelings are mutual of course)!
It makes me so happy to hear about good people finding love. Congrats on finding that special someone. :)